


The One Who Will Live On

by SaibraRutherford (ScottishVix), ScottishVix



Series: The One [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Modern Girl in Thedas, Multi, Past Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Seriously all the warnings, Sexual Assault, past emotional abuse, please read safely
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-10-25 17:36:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10769148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScottishVix/pseuds/SaibraRutherford, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScottishVix/pseuds/ScottishVix
Summary: Lily finally felt like she was putting the pieces of her life back together. Then her world fell apart again. Now she's in Thedas, struggling with a whole new set of problems. Like people believing she was sent by their god, strange new abilities, knowing far too much about a group of dangerous and suspicious people. And trying not to fall in love again.After all, who could possibly love someone as damaged as her?





	1. Battle-Scarred Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> This work is incredibly personal to me. I'm not Lily, but what happened to her could have happened to me. Some of it did. It happens to too many women - and men. 
> 
> Please bear that in mind when you comment on this, though constructive criticism is always welcome.
> 
> There are also Jedi hugs and cookies for anyone who spots the pop culture references scattered throughout the story. Also, long chapters are long.

I was so cold. I definitely wasn’t lying in a bed. I didn’t think I’d passed out in the kitchen, or the bathroom, and I wasn’t on the living room carpet. And if I was on the floor at home, Mischief would be crawling all over me, licking me. So where was I?

When I opened my eyes, I was met with nothing but damp, worn-looking stone and a faceful of my unruly hair. I tried to push my hair away and discovered my hands manacled shoulder-width apart to a rusty, dirty piece of metal. Tossing my head to move my hair I found an unconscious woman sitting next to me. Her left hand sparked green as she jerked awake. _I don’t think I’m in Kansas anymore…_

It must be a dream. I looked around, the fog in my head clearing slightly. At the sight of the circle of men surrounding us, swords pointed directly at us, I tried to shrink into myself more, head down. There was no way they wouldn’t know I was awake, but they had to see I was no threat to them. Something about the unsheathed blades tugged at my memory painfully, but I couldn’t focus on anything more than my pounding heart. Other than the men, the room looked very like the Dracula’s castle themed bar my friends and I had gone to at Uni–stone walls, chains hanging from the ceilings, corners thick with cobwebs. Somehow, I didn’t think I’d be getting a Seven Deadly Sins cocktail anytime soon.

The door slammed open. _No! No, no, no, no, no!_ The soldiers sheathed their swords as a woman who could only be Cassandra Pentaghast stormed in. She was just like she’d been portrayed, cropped blue-black hair, wicked scar, angry eyes and all. The woman wearing a cowl and still shadowed in the doorway could only be Leliana. _This can’t be happening; this is a bad dream._

The woman next to me–human so she had to be a Trevelyan–watched Cassandra with wary eyes, but didn’t flinch. I felt like a coward next to her. But years with Martin had taught me that sometimes cowardice was the only way to survive. As Cassandra circled behind us, Trevelyan met Leliana’s eyes defiantly. The Left Hand eyed her briefly, then looked curiously at me, her cat-like eyes boring into me.

“Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you now.” Cassandra’s voice was low, menacing. I couldn’t reconcile this hard, angry woman with the one I knew loved steamy novels and wanted a male Inquisitor to woo her with poetry.

“Please, Lady Cassandra,” I whimpered. Her eyes snapped to me as she continued to circle.

“The Conclave is destroyed. Everyone who attended is dead. Except for you two.”

Trevelyan met Cassandra’s eyes without flinching. Her lip curled. “You think I’m responsible?” she spat. Oh, she was definitely fierier than me. Her defiance had distracted Cassandra’s attention from me, though I could feel Leliana’s eyes still on me.

Cassandra grabbed Trevelyan’s still-manacled left hand. “Explain _this_ ,” she spat as the Anchor sparked and flared.

That was the first thing that truly seemed to discomfit Trevelyan. “I… I can’t.”

“What do you mean you _can’t_?” They were flanking us now. I shuffled towards Trevelyan as best I could.

“I don’t know what that is, or how it got there.” She seemed scared now, but where I was the kind to cower and flinch, she held firm.

“You’re lying!” Cassandra lunged for Trevelyan. I gave a small shriek of fear and backpedalled into Leliana’s legs. She stepped around me, hauling the Seeker off Trevelyan.

“We need them, Cassandra.” She turned back to us. “What are your names?”

“Lady Evelyn Trevelyan of Ostwick, daughter of Bann Reynold Trevelyan,” announced the woman next to me without hesitation.

“And you?” The unflinching gaze turned on me. I kept my head down.

“L-Lily McKichan,” I stuttered. “You… you won’t have heard of my family. Or where I come from, Sister Leliana.” I could almost feel her raising her eyebrow at that.

Trevelyan came to my rescue. “I don’t understand what’s happening here.”

“Do you remember what happened,” Leliana asked, turning her gaze from me. “How this began?”

“I remember running.” She looked down, brow furrowed in concentration. “ _Things_ were chasing me. And then… a woman?”

“A woman?” Leliana asked startled.

“A woman,” I confirmed. If I was to survive what was happening, I needed to make myself at least seem useful, even if I couldn’t bring myself to look up. “She seemed to be made of light. The things looked like spiders, but they weren’t. Fearlings.” All three of them turned to look at me in amazement.

“She reached out to me,” Evelyn confirmed. “But then…”

The Seeker pulled the Spymistress off to one side. “Go to the forward camp, Leliana. I will take her to the rift.”

“Take them both,” Leliana affirmed. “I want to see what this other one knows.” She nodded and was gone.

Cassandra turned to us, removing our shackles and tying our hands together to a rope, so she could lead us. “What did happen?” asked Evelyn, as we rose shakily to our feet.

“It… will be easier to show you.” Something of what we’d said, of the woman probably, had shaken her, and her belief in our guilt. She led us up out of the dungeons and into the empty Chantry. At a wave of Cassandra’s hand, soldiers guarding the doors hauled them open. After the dim dungeon– _and why the hell is there a dungeon in a church?_ –and the torch lit halls, the dim winter’s light of Haven was dazzling. I looked up in awe at the green whirlpool in the sky.

“Mhac na galla,” I whispered. “The Breach.” I wanted to vomit. Digital rendering couldn’t do justice to how _wrong_ it felt to have that hovering in the sky overhead.

“That is what we call it,” Cassandra confirmed, watching me closely. “It’s a massive rift into the world of demons that grows larger with each passing hour.” Evelyn was staring at the thing in horror. Cassandra, it seemed, couldn’t look up at it. “It’s not the only such rift, just the largest. All were caused by the explosion at the Conclave.”

“An explosion can do that?” Evelyn’s pale eyes were wide with horror.

“This one did,” insisted Cassandra at the same time I replied, “Not on its own.”

Cassandra glared at me again. I think she preferred me cowed and whimpering. Just like Martin. “Unless we can act, the Breach may grow until it swallows the world.”

I knew this part. As the Breach flared, a spark of green lightning shooting from it, I thrust my bound hands under Evelyn’s own, wedging them between her hands and her chest, holding her up when the Anchor flared and her knees buckled from the pain. Cassandra helped, throwing an arm around Evelyn to keep her from putting all her weight on my forearms.

“Each time the Breach expands, your mark spreads… and it is killing you.” There was some sympathy in her voice now, though her eyes were still hard. “It may be the key to stopping this, but there isn’t much time.”

“You still think I did this?” Evelyn spat. “To myself?”

“Not intentionally.” Cassandra’s voice was even and steady. “ _Something_ clearly went wrong.”

“Yes,” I muttered under my breath. “She was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“And if I’m not responsible?” Evelyn asked, ignoring me.

“Someone is,” Cassandra continued. I had no idea if she’d even heard me. “And you are our only suspects.”

“You say it _may_ be the key,” asked Evelyn, “to doing what?”

“Closing the Breach. Whether that’s possible-“

“It is,” I interrupted, meeting Cassandra’s eyes. “Not now, not yet, but eventually the Mark will close the Breach. And making the attempt to close the Breach now will stabilise the Mark and keep you alive,” I told Evelyn. “Lady Cassandra…” I started and closed my eyes. “I know you don’t trust me. Or Lady Trevelyan. Right now, you have no reason to. But you trusted Solas to keep her alive, and he’s an apostate. Explanations about who and what I am can wait until the Breach is dealt with.” _And until I come up with an explanation that won’t get me killed._

Cassandra looked me in the eye. Meeting her gaze was as hard as meeting Martin’s across a courtroom. But I had managed that–not looking would have made things worse–and I managed this time. “You know about Solas? Even though you were unconscious before he arrived?”

I swallowed and nodded. I knew about Solas. About who he really was. Another hurdle I would have to overcome. I had read _Outlander_ too many times to count, but I was only now starting to understand how Claire felt. The burden of knowing the future. Of knowing who the bad guys were, who had secrets, who was morally ambiguous and who was only on your side until a mutual enemy was dealt with.

I scanned my memory for something–anything–that might convince her I could know about the Breach without having been a party to its creation. “Ever since Anthony died,” her breath hissed. I had known this was dangerous ground, and now I had started I could only pray it had the intended effect. “Ever since Anthony died, your greatest fear is to be as helpless as you were that day.”

“That is…” Cassandra was dumbfounded. “I have not told _anyone_ that.”

“I know. Please, Lady Cassandra. Take us to the Breach.”

She nodded. “All right then. Let’s go.”

The villagers of Haven eyed us warily as Cassandra led us by our bound wrists through the small warren of huts and out to the lakeshore. Several cursed at us, a few even spat. “They have decided your guilt,” Cassandra told Evelyn, seeing her glancing at the hostile townsfolk as we passed the smithy. “They need it.”

“Of course they do,” I replied softly. “They think we killed Divine Justinia. Just like you.”

“We lash out, like the sky,” Cassandra admitted. “But we must think beyond ourselves. As she did.”

We made it through the gates and onto the bridge that led to the mountain pass. As the gate swung closed behind us, and we were surrounded only by soldiers loyal to Cassandra, Leliana and Cullen–people who would not kill us on sight–she cut the ropes binding our hands. “There will be a trial. I can promise no more.”

“You won’t need one for Lady Trevelyan,” I promised softly. “What you see when we reach the Temple will convince you of her innocence at least.”

“And you? Will we need a trial for you?” She had pitched her voice to mine, so the men and women around us couldn’t hear.

I looked away. “I don’t know what the future holds for me.”

That seemed to satisfy her, for now at least. “Come, it is not far.”

“Where are you taking us?” Evelyn asked as we moved across the bridge. She seemed slightly put out that she seemed to know less of what was going on than either Cassandra or me.

“Your Mark must be tested on something smaller than the Breach.”

I had never been in an actual warzone before. We passed young soldiers, rocking in fear and shock at the bloodshed they’d seen. A male cleric recited what I assumed was part of the Chant of Light to a group who looked like they were about to head into battle. I looked away as we passed a group of bodies wrapped in linen stained with blood. This was so much easier to see in a video game than in real life.

It was easier once we got off the bridge. Out on the mountain path we had to pass burning piles of rubble and overturned carts, but so close to Haven, most of the bodies and carnage had been cleared away. As the Breach expanded again, Evelyn pitched forward, curling herself protectively around the hand that must have been agony for her. Cassandra and I helped her up.

“The pulses are coming faster now,” Cassandra informed us.

“Killing me faster,” snorted Evelyn. “How _did_ I survive the blast?”

Cassandra hesitated. “They said you… stepped out of a rift, then fell unconscious.”

“More like fell out face first,” I couldn’t help but retort. A year away from Martin had brought back my sarcastic streak, and now I was having trouble reigning it in. Still, it made Evelyn laugh.

“They say a woman was in the rift behind you. No one knows who she was.” She eyed me suspiciously. “Do you?”

“I do,” I confirmed. What was the point in trying to lie to a Seeker of Truth? “But if I was to tell you now, you wouldn’t believe me.” She raised an eyebrow. “I will tell you what I can when the immediate crisis is over, you have my word.”

We had reached another stone bridge over the frozen river. Cassandra went to step onto it when I threw out my arm. “Wait!” The Seeker glared at me. “The bridge is going to collapse.”

“This bridge has stood for centuries,” she insisted, moving past me. “It will stand us crossing it.”

“It will not,” I argued, “when a boulder dropping from the Breach hits it. And there are demons waiting for us below.”

She opened her mouth to argue right as my prediction came true. If the battering I got, bouncing off rubble to land on ice was any indication, this was no dream. I’d never felt true pain in a dream before. As we staggered to our feet, the ground before us began to bubble green and a shade surged upwards. It was hideous, like one of those anatomy diagrams of a body with the skin removed to show all the muscle and sinew beneath. But it was too tall, it’s fingers too long, and its face too hooded and hawk-like, with black holes where the eyes should be. Ragged strips of leather and cloth wound their way around its body. “Stay behind me,” Cassandra called, racing forward with her sword drawn.

As Evelyn and I backed up, another swirling patch appeared between us and the Seeker. _The weapons. Where are the fucking weapons?_ The hero always picked up his or her weapon here for the first time. Suddenly Evelyn lunged for a pair of bows to her right and tossed one to me. “I hope you know how to use this,” she called, and I sent out a silent thank you to Aiden for teaching me with blunted arrows as a child. Neighbour boy was good for something.

I scooped up a quiver from at my feet and nocked the bow as another shade shot up from the ground. Deep breath. Steady. Aim. Release. It had been at least 15 years, but it seemed shooting an arrow was like riding a bike, even if this time I was trying to hit a living, moving target instead of a wooden bullseye. I was slower than Evelyn, took more time to line up my shots. My aim wasn’t great either, but at least they usually hit somewhere on the shade, even if it wasn’t always where I intended. When the demon menacing us was down, we both aimed for Cassandra’s opponent.

As soon as it was down, the Seeker came barrelling towards us, sword raised. “Drop your weapons. _Now._ ”

I was used to dealing with anger directed at me. And I had the advantage of knowing how this confrontation would end. I slowly bent down, arms outstretched, to lay my bow on the ground. “Easy, Lady Seeker. We were protecting ourselves, nothing more.”

“Wait,” she sighed. The logic was inescapable. She sheathed her sword. “I cannot protect you, and I cannot expect you to be defenceless. Your lives are threatened enough as it is.”

“Thank you,” I acknowledged.

“Where are all your soldiers?” Evelyn asked, as we followed the frozen river, hoping to find a way back to the path. She was right, other than the shades, we hadn’t seen a living soul since we left the first bridge.

“At the forward camp with Leliana, or fighting with Commander Cullen,” she explained. “We are on our own, for now.”

We walked in silence for a moment. As we came to a place where the path along the ice was blocked by debris piled over our head, I recognised where we were. The world was sharper when it wasn’t pixelated. The wind and ice were cold. The quiver was an unaccustomed weight on my back. But it was familiar enough. “Wait,” I asked again. This time Cassandra stopped to hear my explanation. “We can climb the bank here and get onto the ice again. But when we get to the top, there are two shades below that will see us coming a mile off. Cassandra if you can stay low and travel around, you can flank them while Lady Trevelyan and I distract them from above.”

“You are sure?” Cassandra’s eyes were wary, but after I had correctly predicted the destruction of the bridge, there was more respect there. I nodded and she moved off.

“You can call me Eve,” Trevelyan whispered as Cassandra moved away. “Lady Trevelyan is my mother.”

I smiled back at her. “Lily. I’d say it’s a pleasure but…”

“I know,” she smiled back, her eyes warmer when talking to me than they were when Cassandra was about. We crawled forward to peer over the snow bank at the shades below. We could see Cassandra slowly edging her way around behind them. “Do you really know what’s going on? What’s going to happen to us?”

“I know what’s going to happen to _you_ ,” I corrected her. “And I’m so sorry.”

She opened her mouth to ask, but I was spared by a signal from Cassandra. In unison, we stood up and began shooting. It was getting easier to pull the bow. My muscles had been stiff from the cold and from lying in the dungeon, but the exercise was warming them up, loosening them. I was starting to pull and release faster, though still I was still nowhere near as skilled as Eve. And my aim was still rubbish.

When the shades were down, we slid down the snowbank to join Cassandra. “More shades ahead,” I warned them. “And a wraith.”

“Is there any way to avoid them?” Cassandra, it seemed, had decided to trust to my foresight.

I shook my head. “Between the three of us, we can take them. Then we go over another snowbank, and there’s another group of wraiths and shades. From there we can get back onto the path.”

Cassandra led us, sword at the ready, while Eve and I followed with arrows already to our bows. I allowed my mind to retreat from the fighting, appreciating as dispassionately as I could, the advantage of having such a good tank when Eve and I both needed range. Self-defence was not something I had ever learned, not married to Martin. I’d be useless in close combat. And at least they weren’t people. It was easy to aim at a something that was so clearly a monster, but it would be much harder to release the arrow when I came face to face with my first rebel mage or rogue Templar. If I got that chance.

That was when I felt claws rake across my back as I stumbled forward with a cry. On the ice, my footing was poor and I slid along the ground on my stomach, trying desperately not to break my bow. Cassandra leapt over the top of me with a guttural battle cry, sliding her sword neatly into the shade that had knocked me down. Cursing the lack of a real-life HUD to warn me of enemies behind me, I pushed myself back to my feet. The skin on my palms was now scraped and raw, making holding and pulling my bow uncomfortable as Evelyn and I tag-teamed the last wraith.

Cassandra hurried over to us as the wraith screamed its final defiance and dissipated. “Here,” she offered me a small vial of a sickly green liquid. I looked at it suspiciously. “It will help,” she promised, seeing my reticence.

With a shrug, I downed the vial. It tasted like whisky–nasty cheap whisky. I gagged a little as it hit the back of my throat, but immediately the stinging in my palms, knees and back eased and stopped. I examined my hands carefully. It wasn’t perfect, you could see where the scrapes had been, but they looked like week-old grazes that were healing nicely not cuts only moments old. I couldn’t keep myself from muttering, “Sweet,” under my breath.

Cassandra and Evelyn gave me identical odd looks. This was as every day to them as sticking plasters or paracetamol were to me. That I had obviously never used a healing potion before puzzled them. Well, it was just one more thing about me for them to wonder at. I wasn’t about to explain here and now. “Nearly there,” I gestured to the nearby steps. “Let’s go.”

About halfway up the snow-covered steps, we began to hear the shrieks of demons and the sizzling of a nearby rift. Eve winced and shook out her hand, where the Mark was popping in time with the rift. I couldn’t help but imagine how painful it must be. No healing potion would help that.

“We’re getting close to the rift,” shouted Cassandra from in front of us. I was beginning to believe that Cassandra’s speciality was stating the obvious. “You can hear the fighting.” It wasn’t like any fighting I had experienced here yet. There were shouts and grunts, sure, but no thrum of bowstrings or clash of metal from a sword. Instead there was a whistling crackle and a steady series of thwaps.

“Who’s fighting?” Eve asked. _Good memory_ , I thought. If the Inquisition’s scouts and soldiers were all in Haven or at the forward camp, who was guarding this rift?

The thought brought a smile to my face. “Varric and Solas.” I was dreading meeting Solas, but Varric... I could use his sense of humour. There had to be something funny about this whole situation or else I’d cry.

We crested the hill and looked down into the courtyard of a ruined building and for a moment I froze. The rift was like nothing I’d ever seen. It looked like a jigsaw of jagged green crystals, suspended in a green mist right in the centre of the courtyard, the crystals constantly moving and reforming themselves into different patterns and shapes. I tore my eyes away to notch an arrow to my bow and scanned the field around the rift. Just shades, nothing I was unfamiliar with yet. The green light glinted off Solas’ bald head, causing shadows that emphasised his pointed ears. The whistling and crackling was coming from the ice he was shooting from his staff, alternating throwing ice and hitting a nearby demon with the wicked looking blade at the bottom. Varric was standing a little way back and every time he released a bolt from his crossbow, it made a distinct thwap. You’d always know where he was in relation to you during a battle.

Cassandra charged in, sword swinging wildly, shield bashing anything that got in her way. Eve and I used the advantage of our position at the top of the stairs to get the best aim at the shades that threatened to overwhelm the dwarf and the elf.

As soon as the last demon was down I grabbed Eve by the arm and dragged her towards the rift. The crystals had dissolved into a swirling, shimmering cloud. Solas was shouting for us to hurry and I propelled her towards him. He grabbed her left wrist and thrust it towards the cloud. A tendril of green lightning flew from Eve’s palm, like one of Spiderman’s web shooters, and her arm shook and vibrated with the power of it. With a grunt of pain, she snatched her arm back from Solas, pulling it away from the rift which seemed to implode with the pull of her lightning rope, sending a small shockwave rippling over us all.

Eve was glaring between me and Solas, obviously displeased with our manhandling of her. But there was a wary respect there, too. “What did you do?” she asked cautiously.

“ _I_ did nothing,” Solas replied, stepping back respectfully. There was a streak of blood across his cheekbone, and more gore spattered his clothes. Like his staff, they had clearly been cobbled together on the run. While all their clothes were handmade–and for the first time I noticed I was in the jeans, hiking trainers and softshell I would wear for dog walking–Solas had clearly made his own rather than approach a tailor. The wolf’s jawbone that hung around his neck in a cradle of string glinted wickedly. “The credit is yours,” he smiled.

“You mean this?” Eve asked, gazing in awe at her left palm.

“Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that Mark upon your hand.” I tried and failed to suppress a snort. As if he didn’t know what kind of magic caused all this. The glare that he shot my way frightened me as much as Martin ever had. I took a step back towards Cassandra, where I felt at least a little safer.

Cassandra stepped between me and the elven mage and he was suddenly serene again. Wouldn’t want his little charade to be exposed too soon. “Meaning it could also close the Breach itself?”

“Possibly,” he replied before turning back to Eve. “It seems you hold the key to our salvation.

“Good to know,” piped up Varric from where he was adjusting his gloves. He was wealthier than I had realised, stupidly since he was going to fund the reconstruction of Kirkwall practically single-handedly. The leather coat and trousers were of the highest quality. His chain, earrings and even the hooks on his silk tunic were solid silver, and the silver embroidery on the tunic was finely done. I had no idea how he wasn’t freezing with his shirt open to the navel, but Cassandra was right–the ruddy chest hair was impressive. The skin around the old break of his nose was chapped red with the cold, and he had grazes on both high, well-sculpted cheekbones. As he sauntered up to stand next to me, I realised he only came up to my chest. “Here I thought we’d be ass deep in demons forever.”

I couldn’t resist. I’d always enjoyed the bard songs, and somehow I knew he’d appreciate the description of himself. “ _Varric charms with clever words_ ,” I sang softly. “ _Vendor of exotic goods. Writer of salacious books. A rogue, a dwarf with rugged looks_.”

He grinned at me in delight. “You’ve heard of me.”

I couldn’t help but smile back. “I haven’t had the pleasure of reading your books yet, mo caraid, but I look forward to it. I know _Swords and Shields_ has some… unexpected fans.”

Cassandra nearly choked, and suddenly it was easy to see why Varric had so much fun baiting her. I didn’t think I’d ever be brave enough to properly join in, but I could enjoy having some little insights. She composed herself quickly. “It is nothing special. She seems to have heard of us all. Lady McKichan appears to have some knowledge of the future.”

“Bless you,” Varric shot automatically at Cassandra. It wasn’t an uncommon response to my surname.

“It’s just Lily.” I was looking at the ground again. “I’m no lady.”

Varric it seemed, didn’t care about that part. “A prophetess? That’s brilliant. Tell us about Chuckles there.”

It couldn’t hurt to try and soothe him, I thought. The verse about him said nothing of his future path or his past mistakes. I still couldn’t meet his eye. I’d always been told I had no poker face. “Solas, mysterious elven mage, mastered magic by his own hand. Not a Dalish or a city elf. Sceptic born into lovely lands.” I recited his verse rather than sing it and risk his censure.

The elf, taller than I thought he would be, bowed his head in acknowledgement. “Well that tells us nothing at all,” complained Varric.

“Is that Bianca?” I asked, calling on one of the few things I knew was guaranteed to distract him. “She’s wonderful. May I see her?”

“Isn’t she?” Varric sounded the same way a mother did when boasting of her child’s latest feats. And he looked at the bow just as lovingly. “Bianca and I have been through a lot together.”

“You named your crossbow Bianca?” Eve sounded incredulous.

“Of course.” He even managed not to sound offended. “And she’ll be great company in the valley.”

“Absolutely not!” Cassandra had been studying my interactions with the elf and the dwarf, perhaps waiting to see if I’d let something slip. But she also had definite ideas of the way things should go, and Varric was no part of them. She sighed and tried to be more diplomatic. “Your help is appreciated, Varric, but-“

“Have you been in the valley lately, Seeker?” he interrupted. When she stopped short he continued, going nose to nose with her as well as he could given that she was over a foot taller than him. “Your soldiers aren’t in control anymore.” He smiled wickedly. “You need me.”

Cassandra made a noise of complete disgust, unable to deny the truth of his statement.

“I am pleased to see you still live, my lady,” Solas interrupted, addressing Eve and trying to smooth the moment over while Cassandra collected herself.

“He means,” Varric piped up, “I kept that Mark from killing you while you slept.”

“It’s Eve. And I suppose I can’t close the Breach if I’m dead,” she replied wryly. That got a quirked eyebrow, a small smile and another bow of acknowledgement from Solas.

“That is most certainly true.” Cassandra seemed to have her temper under control again by the time he turned to her. “Cassandra, you should know: the magic involved here is unlike any I have seen.” I kept my eyes on the ground. If he kept coming out with things like that, it would be impossible to keep what I knew from him. “Your prisoners are not mages, though Lady Lily appears to have an… unusual connection to the Fade. But I find it difficult to imagine _any_ mage having such power.”

_An unusual connection to the Fade? What was that supposed to mean?_ I thought back on what I knew of Dragon Age lore and cursed internally that I hadn’t paid attention to most of the codex entries. All people, apart from dwarves and mages who had been made Tranquil had a connection to the Fade. That was where they went when they dreamed. Mages had a stronger connection thanks to their magic and that was what made them more vulnerable to possession. Well, I wasn’t a mage or a dwarf or a Tranquil, so what made my connection different?

I realised that while I had been thinking the others had gathered themselves and were starting off. Varric gently touched my elbow. “You alright, Oracle?”

I nodded, then grinned at him. “Did you just give me one of your nicknames? You haven’t even had five minutes to get to know me?”

He grinned back. “Well, being able to see the future is a pretty big distinguishing feature. And you called me something. Mock harritch?”

I winced at his mangling of the Gàidhlig pronunciation. “Mo caraid. It means ‘my friend’.”

“See,” he grinned. “We’re friends already. What would you have called yourself?”

I sobered quickly, but couldn’t stop myself from blurting out the nickname Martin had always used for me in front of others. “Mouse.”

Varric gave me a sharp look. “Well,” he sighed finally, giving me a shrug, “Bianca’s excited.” We set off after the others.

The descent into the valley was slow and deliberate, carefully picking our way along the icy cobbles that made up the path. I didn’t feel the need to warn of the demons waiting below us–Varric had already done that–but the number of them was slightly daunting. As we crept into a position above the ice, where we could observe and plan our attack, the dwarf couldn’t help but needle.

“Glad you brought me now, Seeker?”

Other than a grunt of annoyance, Cassandra ignored him. It was a difficult fight, as was the next one when we climbed the hill across the river. As a team we were ridiculously unbalanced: three archers and a mage with only one warrior to take the brunt of the physical assaults.

Between fights, Varric tried to keep the conversation light. When Eve insisted she didn’t remember what had happened at the Conclave, he laughed at her. “That’ll get you every time. Should have spun a story.”

“That’s what _you_ would have done.” It was impossible for Cassandra to keep the disdain from her voice. I sighed inwardly. Their animosity was going to get old fast.

“It’s more believable,” he insisted. “And less prone to result in premature execution.”

“No one is going to execute Eve,” I told him firmly.

“Have you _Seen_ that?” he teased, lining up a shot at the wraith that blocked our path.

I didn’t bother answering, too busy concentrating on my own shots. I wasn’t a natural at this, and unlike Varric I wasn’t carrying a specially designed crossbow that was basically just a point and shoot. Concentrating on my aim and staying alive meant I didn’t have time to listen to the part of me that said I was forgetting something important about why I was here. Something that had happened before I woke up in a dungeon in Haven.

“I hope Leliana made it through all this.” Cassandra couldn’t keep the worry from her voice as she took the head off another shade.

He may have enjoyed pushing her buttons, but Varric also knew when to back off. “She’s resourceful, Seeker,” he sighed, retrieving some undamaged crossbow bolts from the field and tossing some arrows to me and Eve. “We’re almost at the forward camp.”

We heard the crackle of the rift, saw the flare in Eve’s left palm before we saw it. I grabbed her wrist. “The way you closed it before? Do that, even when it’s not ready to close. It disrupts the demon’s connection to the Fade, hurts them badly. I’ll cover you.”

A scout must have heard us, because he stuck his head over the top of the hill to peer down at our approaching group. “They keep coming! Help us!” He was desperate. Of course, with the rift right outside the gate to the camp, they couldn’t get any reinforcements. Opening the gate would have flooded the camp with demons, compromising the safety of everyone inside.

It was tough, at first, trying to keep the demons off Eve as she tried to disrupt the rift. The demons seemed to sense she was the biggest danger and gravitated to us. I couldn’t defend both sides, could only shoot in one direction. I was lucky Solas seemed to realise what we were trying to do and came to flank Eve’s other side. I felt a strange pins and needles type tingling all over. I was still trying to understand what had happened when a wraith’s bolt of energy hit me without hurting. This must be what it felt like to have a barrier cast on you.

Protected from both sides, Eve was finally able to use the Anchor to disrupt the rift. The effect was dramatic. All the demons froze on the spot. It only lasted seconds but that was all we needed to get the upper hand. As soon as the last demon was down, Eve’s hand shot up to close the rift. I wondered if, after doing it once, it worked like instinct or if it was something she needed to concentrate on. It certainly seemed to tire her–she stumbled as she pulled her hand away and Solas had to catch her.

“We are clear for the moment. Well done,” he told her as she regained her balance. Whatever else he was, he knew how to encourage her. Eve looked exhausted.

“Whatever that thing on your hand is, it’s useful,” agreed Varric, wiping a spot of muck off one of Bianca’s mechanisms.

“The rift is gone,” Cassandra bellowed. “Open the gate.” However tired or sore the rest of us were, she was still intent on her mission of delivering us to the forward camp and then onto the Breach.

The situation beyond the gate was better than the camp at Haven. There were fewer linen-wrapped bodies, no broken and bloodied men. Fresh weapons and supplies were arranged. The few men not busy with their duties were eating a quick meal or cleaning and repairing their weapons.

There was, however, a blazing row going on outside the command tent. We could hear it from the moment the gate was opened. _Oh joy._ I had forgotten about Chancellor Roderick. Leliana looked up and the relief on her face was palpable. “You made it,” she sighed, stepping forward from where she had been leaning on the tent post, arms crossed. Even under the cotton cowl she wore, her copper hair glinted in the weak winter light. Her blue cat’s eyes were tired, though whether that was from fighting demons or Roderick I couldn’t say. “Chancellor Roderick, this is-“

“I know who they are.” The Chancellor’s impatience was obvious under those angry black eyebrows as he snapped at Leliana before turning to Cassandra. “As Grand Chancellor of the Chantry, I hereby order you to take these criminals to Val Royeaux to face execution.”

Cassandra was livid. “’Order me’? You are a glorified clerk. A bureaucrat!” The way she said bureaucrat it sounded like the worst insult she could think of. To a woman who spent her life fighting the way she had, it probably was.

Roderick, it seemed, had no more respect for warriors than the Seeker had for administrators. “And you are a thug, but a thug who supposedly serves the Chantry!”

Leliana was more diplomatic than Cassandra, but the proud way she lifted her head to raise her chin at him showed she had as much contempt for him as Cassandra did. “We serve the Most Holy, Chancellor. As you well know.”

Roderick threw up his hands in frustration. “Justinia is dead.” I saw both Cassandra and Leliana flinch at that. They had both been close to her. The Chancellor ploughed on, heedless of the boot he had driven into both women’s feelings. “We must elect a replacement and obey _her_ orders on the matter!”

While I had been trying to stay as small and quiet as possible, avoiding the Chancellor’s attention. Eve had been watching all of this with a growing expression of distaste on her face. Now she interrupted with a nose of pure disgust. “So, none of you are actually in charge here.”

That set Roderick off again. “You _killed_ everyone who was in charge!” he roared.

I couldn’t help the little whimper of fear that escaped me as I stumbled back a step. A roar like that usually preceded a vicious beating. Varric was right behind me. I felt his hand on my back keeping me upright as he muttered, “Easy, Oracle,” too low for anyone else to hear. He didn’t remove the hand when I was steady, and I was grateful for the warm reassurance of his presence. He didn’t know me, we weren’t friends, but he had a kind heart.

Roderick’s anger seemed to have burnt out with that last roar. He leaned heavily on the table before him. “Call a retreat, Seeker,” he sighed quietly. “Our position here is hopeless.”

“We can stop this before it’s too late,” Cassandra insisted.

“How?” Roderick sounded defeated. “You won’t survive long enough to reach the Temple, even with all your soldiers.”

“We must get to the Temple. It’s the quickest route.”

“But not the safest,” Leliana interrupted. “Our forces can charge as a distraction, while we go through the mountains.”

“We lost contact with an entire squad on that path.” Cassandra shook her head. “It’s too risky.”

The Breach chose that moment to expand again, making the bridge we were on shake. Eve grunted in pain next to me, right hand gripping her left wrist as green lightning snaked and sparked around her hand. Roderick stared at her in horror.

As the sparking stopped, Cassandra gave Eve’s shoulder a squeeze, in solidarity for her pain I supposed, before passing her to stand in front of me. “How do _you_ think we should proceed?”

“You want _my_ opinion?” My voice was horrified. This wasn’t right. They should be asking Eve. The Herald should be making decisions, not a scared little mouse like me.

“Your foresight has proven to be invaluable on the way here.” I hadn’t realised Solas was still with us, he’d been so still and quiet.

“And remarkably accurate,” Cassandra agreed. “Since we cannot agree on our own…”

“You can do this, Oracle,” Varric assured me quietly. I knew he was itching to tease Cassandra about her asking for the opinion of a prisoner, but he passed up the opportunity in favour of reassuring me. I hoped I’d have the chance to thank him, one day.

I closed my eyes and thought. This wasn’t a video game. It might be a dream, but I was doubting that more and more as time went on. Things were too vivid, smells too pungent, noises too loud, sights too intense, pain too real. This was a decision that would affect people. Take the mountain path, and I knew we could save at least some of the scouts, but soldiers could die giving us that distraction. Take the direct route, and the remaining scouts would be lost but the careful planning of a direct assault would minimise the soldiers’ casualties. I wanted to cry.

Finally, I looked up and met Cassandra’s eyes. “Use the mountain path,” I told her, registering the slight twitch of disapproval at the corner of her mouth. “Cullen will minimise any casualties among his men. He’s a more than capable general. Some of those scouts are still alive on the mountain pass, but they’re trapped by a rift. If we don’t go to their aid, they _will_ die.”

Roderick glared at both of us, and I felt myself shrink back again. This time it was Eve who came to my rescue, stepping between Chancellor and Seeker. “Work together. We all know what’s at stake.”

Cassandra and Leliana moved away to begin organising our journey and to inform Cullen of the distraction he’d need to provide and Roderick stormed into the tent in a huff. I slumped against a wall and rested my head on my knees. “Mhac na galla.”

Varric came to lean on the wall next to me, one hand on my shoulder. “That was well done, Oracle,” he muttered quietly. “You’ve never made a decision like that before, have you?”

I shook my head, not looking up. I felt Eve sit down next to me. “Those scouts are really still alive?” she asked quietly.

“Not all of them,” I said into my knees. I was so tired. I just wanted this nightmare to be over. “Some of them are dead already. We can save the rest, I know that. But I don’t know how many soldiers we’ll lose in the distraction. What if we lose more men there than we save on the mountain?”

“It is pointless,” Solas intoned, standing over all of us, “to worry about unknowns. We must focus on what we do know.” Maybe he found it reassuring that I didn’t know everything. He drifted away after the Left and Right Hands.

Eve poked my side until I looked up and passed me a hunk of cheese. I wasn’t particularly hungry after the decision I’d just made, but I took a bite to please her. “What can you tell us about what we’ll face on the path to the Temple?”

Another decision–what to tell them all. Everything before reaching the Temple seemed simple enough. It was what happened there that was more problematic. “The first part of the path is the upper level of an old mine. There are demons directly inside the entrance and then again about halfway through. Nothing worse than what we’ve seen so far. At the exit, you’ll find the bodies of the scouts who didn’t make it. The rest will be fighting demons at a rift a little way down the path. After that, it’s clear all the way to the Temple.”

“You’ll all be coming with me,” Cassandra announced, striding up. “Leliana will follow behind with all the men still in the valley.”

“Lady Cassandra, please leave me here,” I begged. “I’m no warrior, I’ll be no help to you. Leave me here under guard. I promise not to run.”

Cassandra shook her head. “The only person staying here is Chancellor Roderick and I would not leave you with him. I do not trust him not to have you spirited away to Val Royeaux before we return.”

“For once I agree with the Seeker,” Varric piped up from next to me. “You’d be safer with us. At least you’re armed against the demons.”

I let my head drop back to my knees, trying to hide my tears. Exhaustion, shame and fear warred within me. This was all too much. I was no warrior, no fighter. “We leave in five minutes.” Cassandra’s voice was quieter, calmer. I listened to her boots echoing on the stones beneath us as she walked away.

“You did fine before, Lily.” Eve’s voice was kind. Not that I was in a mood to appreciate it. “You’re a decent shot, and you seem to know what’s around every corner. Eat,” she nudged the hunk of cheese still in my hand. “You’ll need it.” She stood. “I need to go find some daggers.”

“Stick with me, Oracle,” Varric added, patting me on the shoulder. “We’ll stay in the back, let the Seeker do most of the hard work.” I couldn’t help it. I began to sob quietly. The shock of waking in a dungeon, in a fictional land, then being dragged through a warzone, seeing all those bodies, fighting for my life, had all caught up with me. “Hey,” Varric’s arm came around my shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay. Anyone can see you don’t belong here. Those weird-ass clothes give that away. But you sure as shit don’t belong in a dungeon in Val Royeaux either. So, let’s get to the Temple, close the big ass hole in the sky, and get you home.”

That made me laugh. “It’s not that easy, Varric. Closing the Breach or going home. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to go home. I don’t know how to get there. I don’t even know how I got here!” I was beginning to get hysterical now. Glancing up quickly, I saw the worry in the dwarf’s eyes. I closed my own and took a few deep breaths. Pictured the calm, safe place my therapist had taught me. Under a tree, in a field by a stream, with Bear and Mischief beside me. It took a minute, but I was finally able to look at Varric again, my breathing under control. “You are right though, mo caraid. I have to come with you.”

Cassandra and Eve were approaching with Solas. Eve had swapped her bow for a wicked-looking pair of daggers. For some reason, the sight of those exposed blades made my stomach start to do flip-flops. She passed me a full quiver with a smile. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be. Let’s get this over with.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gàidhlig translations
> 
> Mhac na galla - son of a bitch


	2. Temple, Sacred Ashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eve, Lily, and the team head for the Temple of Sacred Ashes. The reality of landing in a war zone really hits Lily.

The trip to the mine entrance was uneventful. The wind had picked up, whistling sharply between the jagged peaks, piercing my soft shell and making me shiver. The ladders we had to climb to reach the top were slippery with ice, and being battered by the wind didn’t help.

The trip through the mines was just as I predicted. Cassandra insisted we go slowly and cautiously, even though I had played through this introductory session enough to predict every fight. There was a _realness_ to it now, though. The light cast by the torches was more flickering and the patches of darkness between them blacker. After the cold of the mountain face, the mine interior was stifling. The air didn’t move. Even here, on the highest level that contained only abandoned offices and empty storage rooms, it was claustrophobic.

True to his word, Varric stayed with me at the back of the group and when we attacked it was Cassandra with her sword and Eve with her daggers that took on the brunt of the fighting. She was graceful as a dancer with them. If she had been dark and lithe instead of blonde and stocky, I would have said it was like watching River Tam. But I could take no pleasure in watching her work. Every time I saw one of her blades flash through the air to slash at a wraith or stab a shade something hurt in my chest and tugged at my brain. I pushed it away, concentrating on aiming and firing my bow. All that mattered was getting through this and out of here.

The light and air of the cold mountain was welcome when we exited the mine. Not so the scattered bodies. I caught sight of one scout who’d had his bowels ripped out by a clawed hand and turned to retch into the snow. Tears of shame froze on my cheeks as the others stood around listening to me bring back up the cheese Eve had forced on me. She rubbed gentle circles between my shoulder blades, trying to soothe me. I loved her for that kindness, as I hated myself for my weakness.

Varric sighed heavily. I assumed he’d seen worse sights after the Kirkwall Chantry had been destroyed. “Guess we found the scouts.”

“That cannot be all of them,” Cassandra murmured, sounding worried.

I shook my head, standing again and taking a lungful of clean air. I stared straight at the trees down the path, trying to avoid having to look again at the ripped-up bodies around us. “It’s not, I promise. I’m sorry,” I gestured vaguely in the direction I’d been sick.

“Do not be,” Cassandra assured me. “You told me you were no warrior and I believed you.” She offered me the flask from her belt. “Rinse and spit. You will feel better.” She was right. The water took the tang of vomit from my mouth and cleared up the fuzziness from my head. “You have never seen a dead body before?” I shook my head.

“From what Oracle said before,” Varric interrupted, “the rest of the scouts will be holed up ahead.”

“Our priority must be the Breach,” Solas cut in, his voice sounding pompous and self-assured. “Unless we seal it soon, no one is safe.”

“We _will_ help them,” I didn’t know where the conviction in my voice came from. Maybe it was seeing the bodies of the poor lads scattered around me. “We pass the rift they’re defending on our way to the Temple and I’m fucked if I’m just going to walk past and leave them to die!”

“Atta girl,” Varric gave my arm a squeeze. Cassandra turned and started down the path. “Don’t look down,” the dwarf whispered. He placed my hands on his shoulders. “Just follow me. You don’t need to look.” I kept my eyes on the back of Cassandra’s head, letting Varric guide me as we picked our way through the bodies.

“I don’t know how to thank you, mo caraid,” I whispered to him as we walked. “You’ve been so kind to me.”

Varric shrugged it off. “Never hurts to stay on the right side of someone who can warn you when a demon’s about to pop out at you. That’s us past them, you can let go now.”

We could see the Breach closer from here; follow the spinning trail of green energy that travelled from the hole above our heads to disappear in the valley below us. Looking at it made me feel dizzy so I kept my eyes on the path at my feet until Eve’s hand began to spark and crackle. “They’re just around the corner now,” I told the group.

Eve smiled. “Then let’s kill some demons.”

The scouts had backed themselves into a corner, effectively preventing the demons from flanking them, but also keeping them trapped between a wall and a rift. Varric’s first arrow turned the tide. The wraiths had to split their attention and the appearance of reinforcements gave the trapped soldiers their second wind. A lieutenant cried out in surprise when she saw her rescuers. Cassandra spun around, splitting the last wraith in half. “Lieutenant Allred, you’re alive!” I could hear the relief in her voice.

“Just barely,” the scout called back. “Watch out!” The ground behind Cassandra had begun to bubble and she darted back in time for two terrors to emerge. _Magairlean_. I’d always hated terrors. In game, I’d never got the hang of moving from where one was about to emerge in time to avoid being knocked on my arse. And now fighting them for real they were an archer’s nightmare: tall twig thin body, with four twig thin limbs and a twig thin tail. There was fuck all to aim at. And they moved like spiders. I could have cried in relief when Solas froze one for us. At least it couldn’t move, giving me time to line up my aim, and it shattered under combined shots from me and Varric. Eve took the chance to disrupt the rift, stunning the second and allowing Cassandra to lop off its head. Closing the rift was merely a formality after that.

“Sealed, as before.” Even Solas sounded out of breath as he steadied Eve. “You are becoming quite proficient at this.” It also seemed to be taking more out of her. That had to improve after stabilising the Breach. She’d never last through the rest of the Inquisition if it didn’t.

“As long as it works on the big one,” muttered Varric as he joined me and Cassandra in tending to the wounded and exhausted scouting party.

“Well enough for now,” I promised, passing the water skin Cassandra had left me to a scout who was hobbling but still on his feet. He grinned at me and raised the skin in a silent toast before downing its contents.

The Lieutenant had been knocked off her feet by the shockwave of the closing rift. Cassandra was the one to help her back up. “Thank the Maker you arrived, Lady Cassandra. I don’t think we could have held out much longer.”

Cassandra glanced over at us. “Thank the prisoners. Lady McKichan said you were alive and in need of help. She insisted we come this way.”

“The prisoners?” Lieutenant Allred was clutching a gash in her side but she sounded stunned enough. “Then you…?”

“Closing rifts and saving soldiers,” Eve also seemed to have got her breath back. She grinned at me. “It’s what we do.”

“Then you have my sincere gratitude.” Allred put her fist over her heart and nodded to each of us in what I recognised as the Inquisition’s version of a salute. I replied in kind, and even under her helmet I could see her eyes widen slightly.

Cassandra patted her still stunned soldier on the shoulder. “The way into the valley behind us is clear for the moment. Go, while you still can.”

“At once,” she saluted and went to begin gathering the rest of her troops. We moved together to the path that led down towards the temple.

Solas glanced at me. “The path ahead appears to be clear of demons as well. Just as Lady Lily predicted.”

“Still no lady,” I muttered. Varric laughed at me, handing me a pile of my arrows that had gone wide.

Cassandra moved into the lead with a huff. “Let’s hurry before that changes.”

Just as I predicted, the path along frozen cobbles and down scaffolding ladders was demon-free and quiet. I hated it. Too much time to think about, and I didn’t want to think. I knew there was something that had precipitated my waking up in Haven, something that had caused me to come here from the little English village where I had tried to make a new life. But there was a part of my brain that told me I didn’t want to know, didn’t want to remember. Waking up in a war in a fantasy land of elves and dwarves and magic was traumatic, but I had lived with trauma for nearly ten years. There was a worse, more personal trauma somewhere in my head that I didn’t think I wanted to remember.

Varric didn’t like the quiet either, or so it seemed from the way he constantly tried to question Solas and needle Cassandra. “So… holes in the Fade don’t _accidentally_ happen, right?”

“If enough magic is brought to bear, it _is_ possible.” Solas, I thought, sounded as emotionally involved as a brick wall.

“But there are easier ways to make things explode.” I wondered if he was thinking of Anders and Kirkwall. I had never played DAII–by the time it came out Martin had banned me from playing with the Xbox–but I had looked into it enough to get an idea of the story.

Cassandra tried to hush the men. “We will consider _how_ this happened once the immediate danger is past. Which is when there will be time for explanations.” I couldn’t read the look she was giving me. Her voice was as harsh and cold as ever, but I thought there was confusion and doubt, too. Maybe I wouldn’t be handed over to Roderick as the Chantry’s scapegoat.

The sight of the Temple was as bad as I’d feared. Jagged shards of melted rock, veined with Fade-green light, jutted out from the main explosion sight. Whole chunks of wall dotted our way around to the main courtyard. There were fires scattered around, burning what little was left to burn. Cassandra pointed to a point on the path. “That is where you walked out of the Fade and our soldiers found you.” Her voice was quiet, the Nevarran accent more lilting.

“You’ve told us what people saw when Eve came out of a rift, but what of me? How did I appear?”

That surprised Solas. “You have knowledge of all of us and of the future, but not of your own immediate past?”

How could I put this? “I have never Seen my own part in any of this. I cannot See my own future. I have no more knowledge of my own path than you do of yours. Probably less. As far as I am aware I arrived unconscious, and I do not even have the vague memories of being in the Fade that Lady Trevelyan does.”

“Fascinating.” Oh, good. I interested him.

“Two rifts appeared next to one another,” Cassandra interrupted, answering my initial question. “Most eyes appear to have been drawn to the woman behind Lady Trevelyan, but one or two looked behind you.”

“And?” I dreaded the answer.

“They are vague, but all agree that there was white light, a mirror reflecting your back, and a horned shadow.”

“Well, that’s not at all ominous,” I sighed. “I suppose we’ll figure it out later.”

The courtyard was like something out of a nightmare. I gagged again and had to turn away, my eyes watering, unable to take a deep breath because of the smell of burning flesh. It was like pictures I’d seen of Pompeii. Only instead of white statues that had once been people, the bodies were still blackened and charred, some still smouldering away. They were frozen as they had been when they had died–running in panic, cowering in fear, kneeling in prayer. I was grateful the faces were too charred to see their expressions.

“Oracle?” Again, it was Varric who was concerned for me.

I blew out my breath, lifted my head high, and turned back around. “I’ll be okay, mo caraid.” As he turned to walk away, I grabbed him and looked into his eyes. “In the Temple itself, we’ll find your personal nightmare. I’m sorry.” I hurried off after the others without saying more. I couldn’t be the one to tell him we were about see the red lyrium that had driven his brother mad.

Inside what was left of the Temple, it was worse. The bodies weren’t all blackened. The ones that weren’t had all died screaming. I tried as best I could to keep my eyes on the back of Eve’s head, focusing on the intricate braiding of her golden hair. Until we were standing on a balcony overlooking the rift directly under the Breach. It was just so much bigger. Each one of the glowing green Fade crystals was at least as large as a double decker bus, and twice as long, with tendrils of green energy winding and twisting up into the Breach.

“The Breach _is_ a long way up…” Varric murmured staring up.

I whirled at the sound of footsteps behind us, in time to see a troop of archers turn the corner into the Temple. Leliana pushed past them, the chainmail overlay on her tunic rattling as she darted over to us. “You’re here. Thank the Maker.”

Cassandra began firing off orders, but I pushed between them. “I can tell you what will be coming out of that rift. Will it help?”

“Yes,” Leliana answered, when Cassandra could only stare.

“A pride demon. A massive one. Its eyes will be level with that balcony. It’ll call some wraiths and shades to it, but that’s the biggest threat.”

“You are certain?” Cassandra seemed to have found her voice.

“Have I been wrong yet?”

Cassandra shook her head, and she and Leliana took a step away to talk tactics. Varric was at my elbow. “The pride demon is the stuff of my nightmares?” he asked softly. It was my turn to shake my head.

“Are you ready to end this?” Cassandra asked, interrupting as Leliana moved to give orders to her men.

“I’m assuming you have a plan to get me up there?” Eve asked with a raised brow, staring at the Breach thousands of feet above us.

Solas shook his head. “No. This rift was the first,” he answered, gesturing to the rift in the courtyard below us. “It is the key. Seal it, and perhaps we seal the Breach.”

“You said the Mark couldn’t seal the Breach yet?” Eve asked turning to me. I’d forgotten I’d told them that earlier. What could I do now, but tell the truth as I saw it.

“It won’t,” I confirmed. “We either need to suppress its power or magnify the power of the Mark. That’s a discussion for later. What it will do is stabilise it, make it dormant. It will stop spreading and spawning new rifts and new demons. It will stop the Mark from killing you. It buys us time.”

“Good enough.” Cassandra was fixed on this path. “Let’s find a way down. And be careful.”

We had barely started walking when the voice rumbled through the Temple ruins. **Now is the hour of our victory.** I was expecting it but it still made me jump. **Bring forth the sacrifice.**

“What are we hearing?” It was the first time I had heard Cassandra sound nervous.

“The thing responsible for all this,” I told them. Corypheus.

As we turned a corner, I saw a red glow ahead. I glanced at Varric, walking silently next to me. Too short to see what I was seeing over the top of some of the debris. He knew as soon as we reached it though. I saw him lose all colour in his face, eyes wide with horror. His voice shook. “You know this is red lyrium, Seeker.”

“I see it, Varric.” Her words were sharp, but her tone spoke of some understanding there. Anyone who knew about red lyrium would know about what all it had done in Kirkwall. I laid my hand on his shoulder.

“But what’s it _doing_ here?” he hissed, the fear plain in his voice.

Solas was as impassive as ever. “Magic could have drawn on lyrium beneath the Temple, corrupted it…”

I drew Varric away, as he continued to stare at the blood red rocks jutting out of the stone that had once been the Temple. “It’s evil,” he insisted. “Whatever you do, don’t touch it.”

“I know, mo caraid. I’m so sorry.”

“You tried to warn me-“

**Keep the sacrifice still.** For all I knew it was coming, and I knew how dangerous red lyrium was, I feared hearing that voice more.

**Someone help me!**

I closed my eyes, despairing. Her voice was so frightened and it was already far too late to do anything to save her.

“That is Divine Justinia’s voice!” Cassandra’s voice was choked. I could only imagine what it was doing to Leliana to hear that. Her friend, her surrogate mother, calling for help and she hadn’t been there.

Varric drew closer to me as we passed more of the foul red lyrium to find a stairway down to the Temple floor. His eyes were wide and his colour still hadn’t returned. As we dropped down the last few feet to the ruined Temple floor, I spotted more red lyrium directly under the rift. We were going to have to be careful of it during the fight.

This close to such a huge rift, Eve’s whole hand was ablaze with light from the Mark, veins of its energy glowing in the back of her hand. She stared at it, as horrified as Varric had been to see the red lyrium.

**Someone help me!** The Divine’s voice echoed around the collapsed walls once more.

**What’s going on here?**

Even Eve–possibly especially Eve–looked startled to hear her voice echoing magically around us. There didn’t seem to be an obvious source for the voices, they seemed to be coming from everywhere.

Cassandra’s eyes were huge as she turned to Eve. “That was your voice. Most Holy called out to you, but…”

The rift started crackling louder, tendrils dancing out everywhere. We had all begun to back away when there was a flash of light. Suddenly, a ghostly image of the Divine was hanging in the air above us, arms outstretched as if she was being crucified, held by blood red tendrils of energy. Looming over her, was a black shadow with glowing red eyes. If only that was what Corypheus actually looked like. A ghostly Eve ran towards them asking, **“What’s going on here?”**

**“Run while you can,”** the ghost of Divine Justinia cried, anguished. **“Warn them!”**

**“We have an intruder.”** The voice of the Corypheus shadow was calm, unworried by the interruption. **“Kill her. Now.”** It pointed at the ghost of Eve before there was another blinding flash of white light and the image was gone.

Cassandra was the first to recover and she was frantic. “You _were_ there! Who attacked? And the Divine, is she…?” That was the one question she couldn’t bring herself to ask. “Was this vision true? What are we seeing?”

“I don’t remember,” Eve was as frustrated as the Seeker.

“Echoes of what happened here,” Solas interpreted, gazing up at the rift. “The Fade bleeds into this place.”

“It was a true account, though that is not actually what your murderer looks like,” I interrupted. They had seen what had happened, now they needed to believe. “Eve was in the wrong place at the wrong time. And I’m sorry, Cassandra. Justinia is truly gone.”

She whirled on me. “You were not there.” I flinched and took a step back. Cassandra followed, enraged. “Where were you? Was that you under that shadow?” I stumbled backwards over a rock and fell. As Cassandra loomed over me, fists clenched, I cowered, much as I had in the dungeon under the Chantry, holding an arm to ward off a blow to my face.

Varric darted between us. “Did that _sound_ like Oracle to you, Seeker? Does she look like she has the will or the power to do something like _that_?”

“I wasn’t even at the Conclave,” I whimpered. “I’d never even been to Ferelden before I woke up in Haven today.”

“Then _how_ did you get here?” Cassandra’s anger had given way to distress. If I could lift myself out of the situation I could understand her feelings. The Divine had been in direct danger, kidnapped and bound, before the explosion. Cassandra could only imagine that if she had been there, she could have protected Justina, prevented it all. And if I was remembering correctly, she’d had an old lover at the Conclave.

From where I was sitting in dirt and ashes, terrified and alone in a strange place, accused of a terrible mass murder, I just hoped she could be brought to see reason. “I don’t know.” I knew I sounded weak and frightened. I _was_ weak and frightened. “I can’t See anything to do with myself.”

“Given that she fell out of a Fade rift,” Eve asked gently, “is it so hard to believe that Lily was carried from a distance away?”

“No.” Cassandra turned away, anger and distress all gone. “Get up. We have to close this rift. We can investigate how you came to be here after.”

While Cassandra had been verbally attacking me, Solas had been examining the rift. “This rift is not sealed, but it is closed… albeit temporarily.” He turned to include Eve, who had been helping me up, in their conversation. She passed me over to Varric who guided me to a corner. I was shaking, tears blurring my vision.

“Someone really did a number on you, didn’t they?” he asked kindly, passing me a handkerchief.

“I don’t know what you mean,” I lied stubbornly, wiping fiercely at my eyes.

“I mean,” he replied firmly, “that someone taught you to be afraid, all the time, and not to stand up for yourself.” He waved off my attempt to return the hankie. “There’s still a spark there, they didn’t break you completely, but they did teach you to be frightened.”

“I have reason to be,” I could hear the shake in my voice. “If I can’t convince Cassandra I had nothing to do with this, I’ll hang.”

Varric shook his head. “She doesn’t really believe you and Eve are guilty. Not anymore. She’s just feeling guilty for not being there.” He squeezed my arm. “You won’t hang.”

By now, some of the soldiers Leliana had brought with her had arrived and were fanning out around the temple floor. Archers were spread around the balconies overlooking our position. I wished I was up there with them.

“Stand ready.” Cassandra’s voice echoed through the ruin. Eve scanned around and caught my eye. I notched an arrow to my bow and nodded at her. If I survived this, then I could think about what came next, not before.

Eve smiled at me, squared her shoulders, and lifted her hand to the rift. At once a tentacle of green light shot from her hand. There was a flash and she staggered back as a stream of light shot from the rift to explode in a flash of green off to one side. When the flash cleared the Pride demon was in its place.

It was as tall as I’d predicted, grey and hideously spiked in a natural armour made more deadly by the bolts of electricity that jumped from joint to joint. I caught a glimpse of seven pitch black eyes above two rows of jagged fangs before it lifted it head and bellowed, a sound that echoed horribly off the stone around us.

Varric and I stayed back as far as possible, pinned against a wall. When Cassandra roared, a shower of arrows rained down on the beast from the archers above us. As they hit, most of them bouncing harmlessly off its hide, the creature laughed, a sound which chilled my blood.

My world shrank to grabbing an arrow from the quiver on my back, drawing, and releasing. If I looked around, at the soldiers being slashed to pieces by claws as long as my arm, or grabbed by the demon’s lightning whip and tossed away, burning, I would be lost. Eve disrupted the rift when she could, freezing the thing in place and giving us time to get some more hits in. I felt the pins and needles tingle of Solas’ barrier settling on me as a shade appeared in front of us. Varric grabbed a dagger from his boot and slashed at it, as I ducked to avoid a swipe of its claws and Solas froze the thing. I shouldered into it, knocking it down the pile of rubble we were perched on to shatter on the ground below. Varric shouted some vague thank you to the elf, but I was too busy drawing and aiming again to pay much attention.

It felt like forever before the demon fell to its knees. “Now!” I heard Cassandra call. “Seal the rift!” My eyes flitted over the battlefield, searching for Eve. She was practically underneath the rift, standing looking battered and bruised. She looked blankly at Cassandra who roared, “Do it!”

The green stream of energy shot from Eve’s palm as she lifted it. And we waited. All previous rifts had closed in seconds but time seemed to stretch out now. Eve staggered closer to the rift and I couldn’t tell if she was pushing herself forward in an attempt to force the rift closed or if it’s power was dragging her closer. Finally, it exploded upwards, and I watched in awe as a shockwave rolled over our heads and out of the Temple. A green ball of energy travelled from the exploding rift up into the Breach, which also flashed. I heard another shockwave follow the first, but couldn’t see it, blinded by the explosion above me.

When my eyes cleared, Eve was unconscious on the ground. Varric made to dart forward, but I stopped him with my hand on his shoulder. “She’s alive. She’s just exhausted herself.” He stopped and stood with me, watching as Solas examined her, Cassandra looming over the elven mage. He only let out his breath when Solas looked up and nodded to Cassandra. The Seeker immediately started barking orders to the soldiers around her.

Varric looked up at me and smiled. “Time to face the music, Oracle.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gàidhlig translations
> 
> Magairlean - Bollocks


	3. No One Quite Knew Where She Came From

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily meets with the Inquisition council and uncovers a very painful memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't planning on releasing this chapter so early, but I've just come out of hospital after a truly terrible week and am waiting to hear when I'm going back in for surgery. Everyone's comments and kudos have been so wonderful I thought this would make me feel better. 
> 
> Also, look out for the one shot, set later in this story, that will be released for the thesecondseal's sexlaughterhonesty week on Tumblr in two weeks time.

The trip back to Haven from the Temple was much easier and much less eventful than the journey out had been. Not only were there no rifts or demons, all having been cleared by the soldiers before we were led down, but we were able to take the direct path rather than having to go back through the mines.

  
After a hushed conversation with Cassandra, Leliana had gone on ahead, presumably to gather the other two advisors. Cassandra had informed me that I would be expected to give an account of myself and my knowledge of the future to ‘the Council’ as soon as we returned to Haven. I had been hoping to be able to clean myself up before falling into a bed to sleep, even if that bed was in a cell, but I supposed that would have to wait. At least I could hope I wouldn’t be wondering for long about whether or not I was to be sent to Val Royeaux for trial and execution.

  
Varric tried his best to make the trip as easy as he could for me. Niggling at Cassandra and telling jokes and stories. It didn’t help much. I could feel the anxiety about my future twisting at my stomach and pulling at my heart. I didn’t know what I could tell them. A small part of me whispered that maybe if I tried to remember how I got there, I could convince them of the truth, but it warred with the part of me that was screaming that I really didn’t want to know.

  
When we reached Haven at last, soldiers held back the crowd of onlookers. The soldiers who had carried Eve down the mountain on a makeshift stretcher peeled off to take her to the cabin I knew she would wake up in, while we carried on to the Chantry. Unlike earlier, the crowd was deathly silent. There were no angry mutterings or hissed threats. I think I would have preferred their open hostility to this eerie quiet. I kept my head down, following the prints left in the snow by Cassandra’s boots.

  
Entering the Chantry, Cassandra dismissed Solas and Varric. Solas left without a word, but Varric wasn’t so easily ordered about. “You’ll be alright, Oracle. Anyone with any sense knows you didn’t do this. I’ll see you soon.” He turned to Cassandra, more serious than I had ever seen him with her. “Play nicely now, Seeker. Remember: she helped us.” Before Cassandra could sputter out an angry reply, he turned and left.

  
It took a few deep breaths for Cassandra to calm herself, by which time Leliana had joined us. “They are waiting for us. Are you ready?” she asked me.

  
I took a deep breath. “One question, if I may, Sister Leliana?” She inclined her head, graceful as ever. “Will Chancellor Roderick be in there?”

  
Her eyes widened in surprise. “Why do you ask?”

  
I looked down again. “Chancellor Roderick is afraid. Too afraid to listen to reason. He will shout and bully and threaten, but he won’t listen. I don’t know if you’ll believe me or not, but I trust the rest of you to at least give me a fair hearing before making any decision about me and my guilt.”

  
She nodded. “Perceptive. Actually, we weren’t going to introduce you to the other members of the Council. We were hoping you could name them for us when you saw them. But no. The Chancellor will not be there. He is not a member of our Council.”

  
I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you. I’m ready now.”

  
They led me to the War Room in the back of the Chantry. I had no idea what its original purpose was, but now it was taken up with a huge trestle table. On the other side, I recognised Josephine instantly and it was even easier to see why Varric had taken to calling her “Ruffles”. The golden cloth of her ornate suit perfectly offset her dark looks. She reminded me very much of an Indian girl I lived next door to, though Josephine had wavier hair and a much quicker smile than Theresa. The man next to her was… not Cullen. He was wearing Cullen’s distinctive red cloak with the fur pauldrons. But this man was dark haired and had tattooed stripes on his chin and nose. I almost smiled back at Josephine. They really were testing me.

  
Cassandra and Leliana was waiting. “You had a verse each about Varric and Solas, telling us about them before you had been introduced,” Cassandra prompted. “Can you do the same here?”

  
“I have a verse each about you and Leliana, too. But, yes, I can name these people.” I used my childhood dance lessons to curtsey deeply to Josephine. “Josephine, noble, with bright acumen, with grace and charm in hand. Ambassador to the wealthy and shrewd and dear through the land. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lady Montilyet.”

  
“Charming,” Josephine exclaimed, delighted as she curtseyed back. “You are a marvel, Lady McKichan.” She stumbled over the surname and for once I regretted not giving my easier married name of Watt.

  
“It’s just Lily. I’m not a lady.” I turned to the dark man. “And you are… Knight-Captain Rylen?” It was a question. I’d never properly examined the face of the character I’d only seen briefly in the Western Approach, but the tattoos were fairly distinctive. His lips twitched. “Once a Templar at the Starkhaven Circle of Magi?” I turned to Leliana. “Where’s Commander Cullen?”

  
Rylen laughed warmly. “I told you she’d know I wasn’t him,” he told Cassandra, pulling off the cloak. “Impressive that she knew my real name and Circle, though.” Opening a side door I hadn’t noticed, he handed the cloak out to someone. “Game’s up, Ser.” And then Cullen came through the door.

  
Tall, well over six foot, blond and flushing slightly. Even under the half armour, you could tell he was muscular as he swung his cloak on. The attraction was instant. Usually my type was skinny and dark, but that hadn’t exactly gone well for me with Martin. He scowled at Leliana. “I told you it was a bad idea. You’re dismissed, Rylen.”

  
I couldn’t help but gaze into those eyes. I’d never seen eyes the colour of honey on a real person before. They were tired with shadows under them and, like me, he was still covered in the dirt and grime of the battlefield. He clearly hadn’t had time to shave lately, for blond stubble darkened his chin. It made the true length of the pale scar on his face stand out, curving from just below his cheekbone and through his upper lip. He stared back before Cassandra interrupted, “What can you tell us about the Commander?”

  
_“Then there’s, of course, our revered ever more,_  
_Like Commander Cullen,_  
_Who led his men,_  
_Through the Inquisition._  
_A Templar, a knight,_  
_Who stayed with the fight,_  
_Stout and bright.”_

  
I hadn’t intended to sing the verse, just recite it the way I had with Josie. Something just drew the song out of me. I couldn’t help it. His eyes widened and his hand shot up to rub the back of his neck. Leliana was grinning between us. I glanced quickly at the floor again, feeling myself redden as much as he was. “Yes… uh, well… Now that the lady has proven she knows who we are, can we get down to business?” Cullen asked, echoing my discomfort.

  
“Of course, Commander,” Leliana grinned at him again before returning to me. Her eyes were serious now, probing. “You were right. The family name you gave me is not one recognised at all in Thedas. But your accent says you’re a Starkhavener, correct?”

  
I shook my head. “Glaswegian.” I looked up at last, taking in each of them in turn. “Maybe it’ll be easier if you just let me tell you what I can. I don’t know if you’ll believe me, but I’ll tell you what I know.”

  
They looked at each other, communicating silently, taking turns to nod their acquiescence. “Very well,” Cassandra said finally. “Proceed.”

  
“I need to explain some things first. You know there are two worlds? Here and the Fade?” They nodded, various confused expressions flitting across their faces. “Those two worlds are separated by the Veil but they remain linked, in dreams and with magic.” I desperately hoped I was interpreting what I could remember of the Codex entries correctly. “I come from a third world. One with no link to the Fade at all. We dream, but only memories or stories we tell ourselves. There is no magic in my world. And it is peopled only by humans. There are no elves or dwarves or Qunari.”

  
They were all staring at me now. “How is that possible?” Josephine asked at last, her voice soft.

  
“I don’t know. There are theories about the multiverse, but nothing concrete or provable. But in my world we have stories of you. I have Seen you all in these stories. Seen the rise of the Inquisition.”

  
“So, you can tell us who opened the Breach and how to close it.” Leliana stated baldly.

  
I closed my eyes. “No.”

  
“No?” Cassandra was angry, furious even. I took a step back.

  
“No. I’m sorry. I won’t do that.”

  
“Why?” Josephine’s voice was soft, reasonable. “Explain to us why you won’t help us.”

  
“I’ll help you. Any other way but that.” I could feel the tears threatening again. “There are several reasons. For one, time can be rewritten. The fact I’m here at all could change things so much that I won’t recognise them.”

  
“That makes a certain sense, I suppose,” Cullen mused. “The others?”

  
“Time isn’t linear. It’s flexible, weaves in and out of itself, branches off. There are decisions and actions, big and small, that you, as a group and as individuals, will make that change things, alter the outcomes. I won’t make those decisions for you. I spent nearly ten years being forced to bend to the whims of someone else.” I knew I sounded bitter, but I didn’t care. “I won’t take away anyone else’s ability to choose their future for themselves. Free will is too important.” I sighed. “And again, trying to dictate to you what to do, without you having to think about or debate those choices and decisions could change the outcome. Cause the Inquisition to fail.”

  
They were all silent. I wished I knew what they were thinking. I couldn’t leave that silence hanging. “I’ve seen you succeed without me. Seen you choose an Inquisitor who is loved and followed and trusted and who helps you win. I don’t want to jeopardise that by saying or doing the wrong thing. What if I tell you to go and do something, but I forget about a vital piece of information that you would have gotten by investigating and searching for yourselves and that leads to your failure and the failure of the whole Inquisition? I won’t take that risk.”

  
“So you’ll tell us nothing and leave us to founder around in the dark?” Cassandra was still angry.

  
“Not nothing,” I protested. “Make your decisions and I can give you advice. I can tell you whether someone is worth trusting or not. Once you’ve made a decision, I can advise on things that will help. The way I warned you it would be a pride demon coming out of that rift. And I will warn you of events that threaten innocents. There are terrible things happening which must be fought. The monster that caused the Breach is one of those things. I will help you fight him, but I must try and do it without causing more harm myself.”

  
“She’s right.” I smiled at Cullen, grateful for his agreement. “If I learnt anything in Kirkwall it’s that following anyone blindly can lead to disaster. We have to make our own way.”

  
“How did you get here, anyway?” asked Leliana. “Should we be concerned that there are more people from your world here that aren’t so… principled about interfering with our free will?”

  
I shook my head. “I’ve never heard of anyone traveling from my world to another. I’ve no idea how we got our stories of you. But I don’t remember what happened before waking in the cell with Eve.”

  
“Try,” Cassandra ordered. “What is the last thing you remember?”

  
I didn’t want to. There was still the voice inside me screaming that I didn’t want to know. But how could I tell them that. I closed my eyes and thought.

_  
“Bye,” I called after Danny, Matt and Emma, leaning on the doorframe to watch them until they were around the corner. “See you tomorrow.”_

_  
It was getting easier every day, living on my own. Well, not exactly alone. I scooped Mischief up from where she was trying to get around me out the door and balanced her on my hip like a toddler so I could lock it behind us. She licked my face, squirming and wiggling with delight until I told her “Enough!” and popped her back on the floor with Bear._

  
_As I cleaned up, trying to avoid tripping over the dogs as they got under my feet in the small room – and ever hopeful that I would break the rules and give them some leftovers – I smiled at how nice it was to be able to have my friends over to my house for pizza and movies. How nice it was to be allowed to have friends of my own again. I was still a long way from feeling normal, but maybe I was getting close. Danny had even flirted with me a bit. How long had it been since I had felt attractive?_

  
_The converted stable was small and cramped compared to the large flat I’d once lived in. The furniture that cluttered the room was mismatched and second-hand or charity shop, instead of the new, modern Ikea furniture I’d owned before. But it was mine and mine alone. And, aside from being mine, the thing that absolutely decided the house’s superiority was that it had a small garden out the back for Bear and Mischief._

_  
As I passed the hook their leads were hanging on Bear gave me one of his patented disapproving yowls. The grumpy old man sound of his voice matched his scruffy face. I checked the time and sighed when I realised that we were almost an hour late for their usual late-evening walk. I’d always enjoyed walking at night, finding it cleared my head perfectly before going to bed. My over-active brain often made it their longest of the day and both dogs loved it. “All right, all right, I’ll take you out. Just shush a minute,” I grumbled back at him._

_  
Mindful of the nip in the February air, I shrugged on my warm softshell and ran through the usual pre-walk checklist of its many pockets. For some reason, there was a pen in the inner pocket, but I left it there since it wouldn’t go wrong to have a spare if I was meeting a client away from the office. That was probably how it had made its way into the coat in the first place._

_  
Bear yodelled again as I nearly tripped over Mischief, who was crying and spinning in excited circles at my feet. “Haud your wheesht!” I ordered them both. “We’ll go once I’ve put the rubbish out.”_

_  
I grabbed the empty pizza boxes and swung out the backdoor to drop them in the recycling. The first inkling I had that anything was wrong was when I felt the knife at my throat._

_  
“I thought they would never leave.”_

_  
Martin. “Please, Martin. You can’t do this. You can’t be here.”_

_  
One hand on my back, the knife still at my throat, he pushed me back into the house, kicking the back door closed behind him. Bear looked up and growled low in his throat, a deeper rumble than you would expect from a dog that barely came up to my knee. “Call off your fucking dogs,” he hissed in my ear._

_  
I swallowed hard. “Bear, sit,” I ordered in my best trainer voice. My boy slowly lowered his bum to the ground, obedient as always, but he never took his eyes off Martin. Mischief settled next to him, but her front paws danced anxiously. Her whimpering had shifted from its usual excited tone into one of worry. That frightened me most; Mischief rarely had the foresight to be worried about anything. “Wait,” I cued, my tone as firm and confident as I could make it._

_  
Martin manoeuvred me through the kitchen and into the living room, halting in front of the long mirror that had been my granny’s. It had been one of the few things I had brought with me when I fled our flat. Standing in front of the mirror meant I could meet his eyes, cold and hard next to my large frightened ones. “You renewed the injunction.” It wasn’t a question._

  
_“I did. That’s why you can’t be here. You’ll go back to prison.” A single tear trickled down my cheek. The knife pressed harder._

  
_“No tears, bitch. Did you fuck them?” His hand fumbled down the front of my jeans and into my knickers, testing my chastity the way he used to whenever I came home from work._

_  
“Please,” I begged. “Please don’t do this. If you go now, I won’t tell anyone you were here, I promise.”_

_  
“Sluts like you don’t get to make promises.” His breath was harsh in my ear, making me shiver. I could feel my heart hammering. It sounded like it was outside my chest. Then I realised I really was hearing a pounding._

_  
“Lily?” It was Danny at the door. “Lily, I forgot my phone.” He banged on the door again. “Lily? Is everything alright?” He could see us. The frosted glass on the door and the contrast between my bright living room and the dark night outside meant he could, at the very least, see the outline of people in the room._

_  
It was a risk. He had a knife to my throat._ Bullies are essentially cowards, Lily, _I heard my counsellor’s voice in my head._ Expose them for what they are, show them you’re not afraid of them, and they’ll run.

_  
I screamed._

_  
The knife was gone from my throat. “Fucking bitch!”_

_  
I heard breaking glass, running footsteps. Bear was barking somewhere in the distance, Mischief crying at my feet. Danny was shouting for help, for someone to dial 999. But all I could feel was the ripping pain in my chest. All I could see, reflected in the mirror, was the growing red stain where Martin had plunged the knife into my chest. Then everything went black._

  
“No. No, no, no, no!” I was stumbling backwards tugging wildly at the zip on my softshell. Even in the heat of the mine I hadn’t unfastened it. “No, no, no! He didn’t! He can’t have! Please, God, no!” The zip wrenched open. There, seen through a ragged and bloodstained hole in my polo neck jumper, was a twisted, jagged scar right over my heart. As I slumped to the floor, rocking, it took a moment to understand that the heart-rending keen I was hearing was coming from my own mouth.

“He killed me. Oh mo Dhia, oh my God, he killed me.” I couldn’t breathe. I was fighting for air. The room around me had gone. All I could see was the knife plunging into my chest and the bloodstain spreading over and over again.

  
Suddenly my head was wrenched up and honey-gold eyes were inches from mine, filling my vision. “Look at me.” It was a command. I couldn’t help but obey it. “Breathe with me Lily. In. And out. Good. Again. In. And out.”

  
“What’s happening?”

  
“A panic attack.”

  
“What’s a panic attack?”

  
“Get some water.”

  
“Do we need the healers?”

  
The other voices sounded so far away, but they were distracting, confusing me. Making my eyes dart about to find them. I couldn’t breathe again.

  
“Quiet!” The powerful voice of Commander Cullen snapped to the room before returning to the calm liquid voice that I found so soothing. “Ignore everything else, focus on me, Lily. Breathing with me. In. And out. Good girl. Again. Good. You’re doing well.” He pulled off a glove and laid my fingers over his wrist. “Feel my heartbeat?” I nodded. It was the slow resting pulse of an athlete. “Good. Use that rhythm. In and out.” As he talked I could feel myself calming, the panic easing.

  
“I need to ask you some questions, Lily,” his voice was gentle. “It’s going to be difficult, but I need you to stay calm, okay? Take your time. Ready?” I nodded slowly. If I focused on his eyes, kept my fingers on his pulse, I could forget the rest of the room. Just me and Cullen. “You said someone killed you?” My heart leapt again and I felt my fingers tighten on his wrist, but I nodded silently and kept breathing. “You knew this person?” Another nod. “Who was it?”

  
I had trouble remembering how to speak. “Martin,” I finally whispered. “My husband.”

  
Cullen reared back slightly, his breath hissing between his teeth. “Maker’s breath! Has he hurt you before?” I nodded. I could feel the tears running silently down my cheeks as I fought to keep my breathing even. “What did he do to you?”

  
I couldn’t answer. There were no words. Instead, I took the hand that wasn’t wrapped around his wrist and pulled open the hole in my top, exposing the hideous scar. Cullen’s free hand lifted, seemingly of its own accord, and touched it. The leather of his glove was cool on my flushed skin and I couldn’t help but shudder. His eyes were soft and I could feel the pity coming off him in waves.

  
“No one could have survived a wound like this,” he announced to the others. “You can see the angle. It would have gone straight through her heart.”

  
“Impossible,” Cassandra gasped. “She’s here in front of us.”

  
“If she came here from another world,” Leliana mused, “it would have taken an immense amount of magical power. Could that power also have healed her?”

  
“Solas is the closest thing we have to an expert in the arcane.” Josephine was scribbling hard on her writing board. She looked down at me. “Would you permit him to examine you? And your clothing?” she asked gently. I nodded.

  
“I think we’ve asked enough of Lady Lily for today.” Cullen’s tone brooked no argument. “And Solas can examine her tomorrow as easily as today. She’s been through enough.” Gently he raised me to my feet. I swayed violently, nausea warring with vertigo, and it was only his arms that kept me upright.

  
“Am I going back to the cells,” I whispered, staring at my feet.

  
“I don’t think that’s necessary, do you?” Josephine answered, looking around the rest of the group. “Lady Trevelyan is in a cabin at the edge of the village. It’s already under guard.” I looked up at her when her warm, soft fingers touched my arm. “Would that be acceptable?” I closed my eyes and nodded, grateful for the Antivan’s kindness.

  
“Then it’s settled,” Leliana’s tone was final. “Cassandra will escort you to the hut. We will reconvene tomorrow when we are all better rested.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gàidhlig translations
> 
> Mo Dhia- My God


	4. The One Who Will Live On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen gets to grips with this strange new girl that’s dropped into his world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you might have noticed a little change in my pseud. I wrote a Tumblr post explaining it [here](http://scottishvix.tumblr.com/post/164822656626/introducing-the-real-me).
> 
> I'm also running a Tumblr giveaway. You can get more information about that [here](http://scottishvix.tumblr.com/post/164830783309/vixs-tumblrversary-giveaway).

I rubbed my eyes, trying to clear the blurriness from my vision. I should have gone to bed hours ago, but there was too much to do. We were still trying to calculate the supplies that had survived the destruction of the Temple, make a count of who had been killed in the initial explosion and who had been killed in the fighting until Lady Trevelyan–now being acclaimed by the people as the Herald of Andraste–had stabilised the Breach. And I should make a start on the letters of condolence to the families of our soldiers.

Deciding that maybe a walk would do to clear my head, I left my tent and decided to do a circuit of the town. Maybe the people would take some comfort from seeing the leadership of the Inquisition present and moving among them. I had barely come through the gates when Varric called me over.

“Curly, you met with Oracle earlier. I couldn’t get anything from the Seeker. How did it go?”

“What do you mean?” Cassandra had mentioned that Varric had taken immediately to the shy woman from another world. Having seen the way he was with Merrill in Kirkwall it didn’t surprise me. Varric seemed to be a better big brother to the misfits he gathered around him than Bartrand had ever been to him.

“I mean,” he said sounding exasperated, “is she going to be shipped off to Val Royeaux as a scapegoat for this mess? The Seeker was pretty quick to jump on her earlier and the kid’s obviously terrified.” He squinted at me. “You can’t possibly think she’s the genius behind all this.”

“Nothing’s been decided yet. We’re meeting again tomorrow.” I decided to throw him a bone. “Her story is pretty… unbelievable. But no, I don’t think she had anything to do with the destruction of the Conclave. Either she’s a very good actress, or she’s genuinely traumatised. And it hasn’t been examined yet, but the stuff she’s wearing seems to back her story up.”

Varric seemed to relax. “Good. Is her story as wild as the one people are telling around here?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been a little busy to listen to gossip.” Tiredness made me sharper than I had intended, but Varric let it slide over him.

“They say that Andraste brought her from another world to sing prophecies for her.”

That floored me. “Sing prophecies for Andraste?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “That hut hasn’t been silent since the Seeker brought her back from your little interrogation. Come on.”

“It wasn’t an interrogation,” I protested. But I followed the dwarf, unable to suppress my curiosity. Approaching the cabin she and the unconscious Herald were housed in I nodded to the guards stationed there. I was about to speak to them when I heard the voice floating out the crack under the door.

_“I have run through the fields of pain and sighs._

_I have fought to see the other side.”_

Images flooded through my head. Images of her being beaten, shouted at, threatened, and finally stabbed by a slim man with long brown hair and cold, black eyes. I wondered why hearing her sing of suffering caused me to imagine what her husband had done to her so vividly.

_“I am the one, who can recount what we’ve lost._

_I am the one, who will live on.”_

She held the last note for a spellbinding moment before silence overtook us all. It lasted only a moment before she began again with a new tune.

_“Time stood still for a while,_

_Your hand was holding mine._

_The stars that shine in your eyes,_

_Don’t let them go by.”_

I looked at the guards. “Has she been singing for long?” I asked.

“All night,” one answered, confirming Varric’s assertion. “Some make no sense, but several mentioned the Breach, there was one about the Grey Wardens and another about the Nightingale. They…” he hesitated. “They make us see things, Ser. Pictures in our head.”

“You see now why people are calling her the Prophet of Andraste?” Varric asked, drawing me away again. “They know she predicted we’d find the scouts alive on the mountain path and that she knew we’d be facing a pride demon at the Breach. Then they hear her singing those songs and they imagine they see things. I don’t think they’d stand for having her executed.”

“Thank you, Varric. We needed to know that.” I hesitated. Obviously I couldn’t tell him what we had discussed in the Council. But it might be useful to find out what he knew. “Cassandra mentioned that you had spent the most time with Lady McKichan on the way to and from the Temple. What did she tell you?”

Varric squinted at me. Then he seemed to decide he could trust me. “Not much. Honestly, Curly, I learned more from what she didn’t say. She was frightened and completely out of her depth. But she was used to being frightened. She spoke up when she knew something that would be helpful, but otherwise she wanted to draw as little attention to herself as possible. And she seemed to expect that shouting would lead to someone hitting her.” It was as serious as I had ever seen the dwarf. “Someone has tried to beat the spirit out of that kid. And they nearly succeeded. If I didn’t know better, I would say she’d been a slave at some point.”

I nodded. “Not a slave,” I confirmed. “But she has been beaten.” I laid a hand on his shoulder. “I promise that whatever happens tomorrow I’ll make sure she’s treated gently.”

He gave me a crooked grin. “You know, you’re not half bad, Curly.”

**********

Sister Leliana, Ambassador Montilyet, and I assembled in what Leliana insisted on calling ‘The War Room’ early the next morning. As I expected, the Nightingale had already heard the rumours being bandied about the camp naming our two prisoners the Herald and the Prophet of Andraste.

“We simply cannot accuse them of the destruction of the Conclave now. The people will not stand for it,” Josephine commented, echoing Varric’s assertion of the previous night.

“No,” Leliana agreed. “And Lady Trevelyan’s ability to close the rifts and seal the Breach itself make her irreplaceable. But we must still investigate Lady McKichan’s origins. The story she told us is fantastic but she believes it. Unless Solas’ examinations reveal something else I think we must accept it.”

“She wasn’t acting last night,” I told them. “And having seen that wound you will never convince me that she shouldn’t be dead. I can’t think of any magic strong enough to have saved her.”

“You are sure?” Josephine asked. “It couldn’t be managed by a strong spirit healer?”

I shook my head. “I have known two powerful spirit healers. Neither Wynne nor Anders would have been able to save someone with a wound like that. Even if she hadn’t bled out instantly, the damage to the heart would be too extensive.”

“Cassandra is supervising Solas’ examination of her as we speak. We will know more after.” Leliana’s certainty was final and we moved onto other urgent matters.

It was half an hour later when a soft knock on the door yielded those answers. The bald elf laid down the folded bundle of clothes and inclined his head respectfully before addressing me. “Seeker Pentaghast informed me you believed Lady Lily’s scar indicated a fatal wound?” I nodded. I may be trying to modify my opinion of mages, but open apostates still made me nervous. “You were correct. The size, angle, and depth of the scar mean the wound should undoubtedly have been fatal. I know of no magic that would have been able to act quickly enough to save her. She is a walking miracle.”

“And her clothes?” I expected the question from Leliana but it was Josephine who asked.

He shook his head. “The tunic she called a ‘jumper’ was wool and could have come from anywhere. The rest were of materials I have never seen. And while I can profess no knowledge of such matters, Lady Cassandra informed me that the… undergarments were like nothing she had ever seen.”

I was sure I flushed. Solas had begun extracting small items from the bundle and laying them on the table. “I removed these items from the pockets of her coat after leaving her. I have not asked her about any of them. I believed you would want to examine them first. Again, the materials involved are not to be found anywhere in Thedas. I believe she is telling the truth when she says she came from another world on the other side of the Veil.”

We all gazed curiously at the items before us. Leliana picked up a bright pink pouch filled with small, apparently edible bites. She nibbled the edge off one and declared it bad tasting but not poisonous. Then Josephine picked up a small cream tube the size of her thumb, removed the lid, and sniffed delicately. “Vanilla!” she exclaimed in some surprise. I could make nothing of the two differently sized rectangles, one of which had a small rope ending in coiled hooks attached, but the small red thing seemed to be an unusual kind of whistle. Pressing the button on one end of the short, thick metal tube yielded a light at the other. Doing the same with the thinner metal tube revealed a blunted point that left a smear of ink when I drew it lightly over a fingertip.

“You should perhaps also be made aware that Chancellor Roderick is outside preaching their guilt and demanding that the people help him seize them so they can be taken to Val Royeaux for trial.”

I sighed. As far as I could tell the Chancellor seemed to have been determined to cause trouble ever since the Temple exploded.

“Is anyone listening to him?” Leliana asked.

“Very few,” Solas admitted. “The Herald and the Prophet are seen as greater servants of your god. Most people seem to think the Chancellor is trying to test their faith.”

“Good luck to him with that,” I muttered.

Leliana glared at me before turning back to the mage. “There is one more thing. Cassandra told me you mentioned Lady McKichan’s connection to the Fade was in some way unusual. Can you explain that?”

He shook his head. “She is connected to the Fade, for all she claims it does not exist in her world. Perhaps the Veil is thicker, less permeable.”

“What does that mean for us?” I asked. The safety of the people of Haven was my responsibility. If Lily’s presence put them in danger… “Is she more likely to draw demons?”

“Less likely, I would say,” the elf replied. “I cannot guess what effect it will have. Though she is not a mage she is likely to have powers that are not otherwise present here or in her own world.”

“Such as the images people see when she sings?” Josephine had been quiet for a while.

“Exactly. I do not believe she is consciously projecting them, though she could if she wanted to.”

Josephine considered. “If she could use those powers to show people what we face then she could be useful in persuading people to our cause…”

“I would still like to test this ability,” Leliana was as cautious as always. “Without experiencing it ourselves I would be reluctant to-“

At that moment, there was a knock on the door and Cassandra escorted Lily into the room. She looked little better than she had last night, though the dull wool dress that had obviously been borrowed from a servant was cleaner. She was pale and her dark hair hung in slightly frizzy curtains that shadowed her face as she kept her eyes on the floor. Her posture reminded me of a woman who had lived in Honnleath when I was a child. I had once asked my mother why she never looked up. _Her husband is not a kind man_ she had told me. It had been years before I understood what that meant.

“Good morning, my lady,” I said gently. “I trust you slept well?”

She looked up, in surprise. “Well, thank you, Commander.” The dark shadows under her grey eyes gave the lie to her words. Probably she had as little sleep as I did. But the shy smile gave a hint of the pretty woman I thought she must be when you stripped away her fears and insecurity.

Then she noticed the objects on the table. “My phone!” she cried and swept up the palm sized rectangular object. “Please let them still be on there. Please!” she muttered desperately to herself. The black emptiness that had taken up most of one side came to full life and colour beneath her fingers. She tapped and swiped them as quick as instinct in patterns that were too fast to follow. Suddenly she let out a mingled gasp of relief and grief, fingers stilling to take in what was on the object. “Tha gaol agam ort,” she murmured soft and regretful. The words had an elven lilt to them, but the sibilance and hard consonants told me they weren’t words that had ever been heard in Ferelden before.

Cassandra slid the object from the woman’s numb fingers and laid it on the table before us. The blackness had been replaced by an image that could have been a painting had it not been so lifelike. Lily was kneeling in some grass with one dog pressing itself into her side and another resting its front paws on her arm so it could stand to lick her face. She was laughing and looked so carefree. As pretty as I had thought she would be.

She reached down and touched her fingers to the dogs’ faces, whispering those strange words again. I did not need to know them to know what they meant. She loved those dogs and she grieved them. “I’m sorry,” she said softly to the table. “Bear and Mischief are… were my only family. I’ll never see them again, will I?”

“I’m sorry, my lady,” Leliana softly touched Lily’s shoulder. She flinched but did not move away. “But probably not. We have more questions for you.”

She swallowed hard, still staring at the picture of her dogs. “What would you like to know?”

Solas was the one to step to the fore. “There have been some interesting phenomena around you, Lady Lily.”

“Not a lady,” she replied automatically before looking up, though I noticed she looked at everyone but the elf. “What phenomena? Not just the knowing the future?”

Solas ignored that she had ignored him. “A demonstration is needed. You know many songs, Lily?” A nod. “Can you think of one that would make no sense to us, but that brings a strong image to your head?”

“Yes. Yes, I have one.” She picked up the object she had called a phone. “You want to hear it?”

“I want _you_ to sing it,” he replied.

“Okay,” she nodded and began to swipe and tap again. “Okay, but it’s easier with the music. It must be on here somewhere. It’s Emma’s ringtone. Ah!”

Another tap and there was noise coming from the rectangle. Music of some kind, but I was certain no one on Thedas had ever heard music like _that_. I couldn’t even fathom the instruments that would make such notes. Lily’s eyes closed and her head bobbed and foot tapped in time with the rhythm. She began to sing as another woman’s voice piped the same words out of the phone.

_“Hang with me in my MMO,_

_So many places we can go-o._

_You’ll never see my actual face._

_Our love, our love will be in virtual space._

_I’m craving to emote with you,_

_So many animations I can do-o._

_Be anything you want me to be._

_Come on, come on and share a potion with me.”_

“Enough!” Cassandra’s voice sounded strained. A tap of her finger and Lily had stopped the strange music. “Who was that woman?”

“What woman?” Lily sounded confused. “The singer?”

“Describe her please, Lady Cassandra.”

“Slim, pale skin, red curling hair,” Cassandra began before Solas cut her off.

“Sister Leliana, what was she carrying?”

“A fake mage staff,” Leliana replies without hesitation. “White staff, black and gold grip, green orb at the top.”

“Commander, what was she wearing?”

I recalled the image of the woman who had been dancing in my head a moment before. “A white dress with an obscenely short skirt. A red corset over it and gold trimmings.”

Lily had been growing paler and paler. “Felicia Day? You all saw Felicia Day in her Codex costume? This?” She dropped the phone back on the table. The bottom half of the image now had strange symbols and _moving_ writing. The top half had a picture, the most prominent part of which was the woman I had seen dancing.

“Yes,” Josephine replied. “When you sang, I could see her dancing, as if I was remembering something I had seen before.”

Lily swayed as if lightheaded. Cassandra caught her arm and guided her into a chair but it was my eyes she sought out. “Am I a mage now? I always played a mage. Is that how this works?” There was real fear in her eyes. Did she think that if she was a mage, I would harm her?

I crouched to meet her eye. “There is no magic in you, my lady. You are not a mage. This is unlike anything I have ever seen.”

Her eyes slid closed in relief. “Thank you, mo gaisgeach.” Her eyes flicked open in fright again. Whatever that last phrase had meant, it wasn’t meant to slip out. Her eyes begged me not to ask what it meant. I didn’t. She was worried enough already.

Solas interrupted whatever pleading her eyes were doing. “I believe it has something to do with the different connection your world has to the Fade. It gives you abilities which are not found here, but anyone coming from your world to Thedas would have.”

She nodded and closed her eyes, taking deep calming breaths. While Lily composed herself, Leliana dismissed Solas, though she asked him to remain close, and we were left alone with her again. She seemed calm again, but how many more shocks could she take?

Josephine seemed to have come to the same conclusion. “My lady, you know the people are calling Lady Trevelyan the ‘Herald of Andraste’?”

She smiled softly to her knees. “They’ve started that already? She’ll hate it, but it’s good for the Inquisition. The Chantry will declare you heretics. You know that, right? If they haven’t already. And I’m still not a lady. Never have been, never will be.”

“They are calling you the ‘Prophet of Andraste.’”

As predicted the result was explosive shock. “Thalla ‘s cagainn bruis! You’re not serious? Mhac na galla!” I hoped those phrases were as colourful as they sounded. “I’m not meant to be any part of this!”

“You are, whether you want to be or not.” Leliana was blunt and to the point. “You are here and the people have heard you sing and seen visions when you do. They know you have predicted things before they happen. They have decided that is who you are.”

“But it isn’t. I’m not what they think I am. I’m not a hero.” The tears were coming again. “I’m just a mouse.”

“You are more than a mouse, my lady,” I told her. “By saving the scouts on the mountain pass and warning of the pride demon, you have already helped.” I looked up at the others, met each of the women’s eyes in turn. “We are agreed that she stays? Not as a prisoner, but as a member of the Inquisition?” They all nodded. “Will you stay with us, my lady?”

Her smile was sad as she met my eyes. “I have nowhere else to go.” She made to stand and I held out my hand for her. “Tapadh leat.” She flushed. “I mean, thank you.”

Josephine was scribbling again. “We will find you some more clothes and necessaries. Are you content to continue sharing the cabin you were in last night with Lady Trevelyan?”

She nodded. “Yes, thank you.”

Leliana was more interested in the business at hand. “Is there anything you can tell us now that will be of use?”

She thought. “Eve will be awake in… two days, I think. By that time, the Chantry will definitely have declared the Inquisition heretical, Chancellor Roderick will still be spewing venom and driving the Commander up the wall, and you may have received an invite for the Herald to go to the Crossroads in the Hinterlands to meet with Mother Giselle.” That seemed to give her pause. “Cach, I hope that doesn’t mean she’ll want to see me as well. The fighting there is horrific.” She shook it off. “Regardless, you will get that invite at some point, so it’s probably a good idea to send Lace Harding out to do as much scouting as she can before Eve and her team arrive.” Josephine and Leliana had both been taking notes but Leliana looked up, startled at the mention of Lead-Scout Harding. Honestly, I hadn’t even known her first name until now.

She looked around again, wary. “I said I would warn about anything that would harm innocents. So I need to let you know that Haven isn’t-“

Her words cut off abruptly and her hands clawed at her throat, as if there were invisible hands strangling her. She pitched forward and I had to dive to catch her as she fell. Cassandra lunged out the door bellowing for Solas as I lowered us to the ground. Her face was darkening and her lips turning blue. Solas was at my side, pale green light flowing from his hands. “She is being magically silenced.” The elf seemed to have lost some of his composure, the words coming out frantic. “This is too powerful; I can’t counter it.” Suddenly her throat was released and she let out a hoarse rasping gasp.

I could only hold her as she wheezed and coughed, clutching at my arm as if it was the only thing keeping her from drowning.

“Lie still, Lily.” Solas had regained his calm, and his voice was soothing. “I’m going to try and take the pain away.” She nodded, lying as still as she could while her chest heaved to draw in as much air as possible. He held his hands up near her throat and she flinched. Solas paused. “I promise I will not hurt you.” She nodded again. I could feel the push and pull of his magic as the healing flowed into her, watched as her breathing eased and became less hoarse sounding.

When Solas stood, he addressed the whole room. “I assume Lady Lily was attempting to impart some sort of information or warning?” At Leliana’s inclined head he continued. “Someone, I assume whoever brought her here, does not want her to give you that information. This was not a true attempt on her life, but a warning. I would not pursue this line of questioning.”

“Why that?” I could feel her trembling and her voice was weak, but it was enough to have Solas turn. “I was able to give plenty of other information. Why that one thing that could save so many lives?”

“I do not know. But I would not risk trying to speak of it again.”

She nodded again and gave a small smile as she sat up. “Ma serannas, Solas.”

I hadn’t seen him look so startled before. “You speak Elvhen?”

Lily looked a little stronger now. “A few words and phrases. I’m good at picking up languages.” She gave a small smile. “Usually the curses or terms of endearment, but it’s only polite to thank you in your own tongue.”

Solas nodded and returned the smile. “You are welcome, Lily.” He looked up as I helped Lily to her feet again. “I would advise she is allowed to rest.”

The meeting broke up then, Cassandra again escorting Lily back to her new quarters. I couldn’t help but wonder how she would fit into life in Haven. She was so fragile, timid. Even thanking him she hadn’t been able to meet Solas’ eyes. But there was a strength and determination there, too. She wanted to help. _And what warning was she so upset about not being able to give?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gàidhlig translations  
> Tha gaol agam ort - I love you  
> mo gaisgeach - my hero  
> Thalla ‘s cagainn bruis - Away and chew a brush (STFU and clean your mouth out)  
> Tapadh leat - Thank you  
> Cach - Shit

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to chat to me about anything to do with this fic or DA in general, hop over to my [Tumblr](http://saibrarutherford.tumblr.com).
> 
> There's also a [Spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/saibrarutherford/playlist/4nNsjfLxHtwEUYvfmMmEXQ) for this story.


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